40 Hours of Stupidity!

Friday
7am wake-up Friday
11am: 7th grade Science where two students get into a fight
9pm Party in Anchroage

Saturday

12am start baking brownies

1am everyone is eating brownies and ice-cream (Kyla, Walt, Steven, Josh, & Sunshine)

2:30am start watching Hitch

5am Polka-dotted foot monster

8am- movie #2

9:30am  Mickey Mouse waffles, pancakes, apple sauce, peaches

11am nap for 2 hours (Josh and Sunshine leave)

3pm make pizza for lunch (Sunshine returns with snow gear for the boys)

4pm- sledding at Cervasse, Steven breaks 2 fingers

5pm- sledding at Bishops, Enchiladas and Spiritual thought from Elders

8:30pm- Girls leave

9pm-blockbuster run with Boys = Strawberry Charleston Chew, Fanta and Terminator Salvation

11:3pm0- kick boys out and finally crawls to bed

Seeking Independence While Remaining Interdependent

Life continues to forge ahead during this long dreary month of January. The darkness, the wind, the snow, the loneliness has caused it to be kind of a rough month for me as I work on this whole independence thing.


As I seek for this independence and confer with various people I have to consider what they say to a certain degree. I've been told how it's not so much independence I should work on but rather becoming interdependent. I know I can be interdependent; functioning at a high level by exchanging help and support with another to achieve the greatest good possible for two people. I have faith that I can do that because I have, it's the being independent I've never done! 


I'm not looking to live my life in complete independence, but to be able to function without leaning on another person entirely, being able to rely on myself for my own personal needs. After high school I went off to college and did my thing. However I wouldn't say I was truly independent. I had my family within a a five hour drive away, I had extended family not far away, familiar faces since ten of us from my graduating class went to St. Thomas, so there was never a true need to become solely independent. I always a had a boyfriend while at college also. Brandon and I dated for three years, then Abe and I started dating. He and I were together for five years before our split. So in all reality I've never been truly on my own. 


As I reflect on my life right now, I realize that it is now that I must learn to be independent while seeking my eternal companion in which I will be interdependent with. With my parents out of state and having no family here, I am alone. It's a new experience, it's good, it's eye opening; I've learned a lot. 

Goals... Resolutions.... in a game called LIFE.

I'm ten days into the new year and I'm having a really difficult time narrowing down or even yet coming up with resolutions or goals for myself for 2010.

As a joke I told some friends on New Years that my resolution was to not date in 2010. Hahaha..... RiiiiiiGHT. That was never an actual goal, more just a joke, well sort of. I think I'm going to look at dating differently. I'm not going to date anyone that isn't "worth" it or that doesn't meet my standards or expectations; but who knows I haven't given it too much thought.  I know that I don't want a relationship right now, sure I have my overall goal of getting married someday and having a family. However,  I really don't think it's the right time for me or that I'm going to find what I'm looking for here, but I don't know what HF has planned for me.

I have the typical church goals of daily scripture study and prayer, going to the temple at least once a month, be more active/social in church activities.  Of course that isn't going to well. I'm kinda of at a stand still with my personal growth.  I am having a really hard time picking up my scriptures and studying them. THere are so many times I feel that my prayers are not being answered that I naturally just give up. I don't know, I need the motivation and more importantly I need the push.

I'm not gonna kid myself in making an exercise goal. I guess it would be more of a have a healthy lifestyle including that in which I eat. Ironically as I write this I have a batch of brownies baking in the oven, hmmm, i'll start that one tomorrow?!

There has also been an idea playing in the back of my mind for a month or two. It relates to something that happened last spring. Once I found out my parents were going to be moving down south I had a huge decision to make, do I stay in Alaska or do I move also. Well, after lots of praying and reflecting on my life, I decided I needed a blessing for guidance. It was after this blessing when I was talking to Brother Roberts and he told me that "I can't take care of everyone else, that I have to take care of myself" that I knew I had to stay in Alaska. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I had no idea what it was I was supposed to do here, what it was I was supposed to learn, but the Spirit very clearly told me there was something I needed to do/learn here. Well over the past 9 months I have come to learn many important and valuable lessons. I strongly feel that I have learned what it was I was supposed to learn here. Now, as I reflect on my life and where I'm going, I really don't know if Alaska is where I am supposed to be. The idea of moving is continually popping up in the back of my mind. Where to? I really don't know. I suppose it goes back to that relationship with HF that I really need to work on. Don't worry updates on this will follow, I have at least 6 months till I would move.

So, needless to say I really don't know what my 2010 goals are. I still don't have a FT teaching job, that is going to be as they come available I do everything I can to get one. I don't have a boyfriend- well as one comes available I'll work on that too :-P (I do have a blind date next Saturday, but I'm not counting any chickens) I have no idea what I am doing in my life. Each time I think I figure it out, whoosh- another curve ball. So, I am taking suggestions, ideas, words of advice, anything to help guide me in this game called LIFE.