Just Call Me Alexander

Just call me Alexander because I had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. It was emotional and upsetting. At this point, I HATE everything about the state of MN. Not necessarily the people, but the State. GRRRR, they have one angry woman on their hands.

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.'

Take Me As I Am

I was cooking dinner last night and pandora was on turned to the Sugarland station. I wasn't paying much attention to it until one song came on. The song was Take Me As I Am by Sugarland. For those of you who don't know that song here are the lyrics. . .

The radiator says 95

But I ain't felt a drop of heat all night

here in this motel, there's no telling me nothing

I come here five nights a week

To clean the toilets and changes the sheets

My name's Maggie Durant, baby ain't that something

If you want it

Come and get it  If you want it, 

Come and get it but understand

You take me as I am

I know these corners, I know these streets

The curb-side Prophet there yelling at me

He can save my soul for a drink and a dollar

Yeah, he's yelling about my tattoos

But we all live with the scars we choose

They might hurt like hell, but they all make us stronger

If you want it

Come and get it

If you want it, come and get it but understand

You take me as I am

I'm slow to trust but I'm quick to love

I push too hard and I give too much

I ain't saying I'm perfect, but I promise I'm worth it

Now I'm standing here in front of you

Tell me boy, what are you gonna do?

'Cause my name's Maggie Durant, I said, ain't that something

Sometimes I feel that this way. That I am constantly being chastised about my tattoo, I am living with scars and it hurts, yet I know it's making me stronger. Also, I am very slow to trust, but I am quick to love. I push people hard and I give too much. I know I'm not perfect, I have plenty of faults, but all in all....I'm worth it. 

What If...

Today I watched one of my favorite chick flicks, Letters to Juliet. It is set in Verona, Italy- the beautiful city where Romeo first met Juliet. In Verona, there is a place where the heartbroken leave notes asking Juliet for her help. It is there that aspiring Sophie finds a 50 year old letter that will change her life forever. She sets off on a romantic journey of the heart with the letter's author, Claire, now a grandmother, and her handsome grandson. On this journey is where they all will discover that sometimes the greatest love story ever told is their own.

In the movie there is a quote that says.... "What" and "If" are two words as non-threatening as words can be. But put them together side-byside and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life: What if? What if? What if?"

What and If ARE two of the most non-threatening words but when you put them together they can haunt you. I have had my fair share of "what ifs" but I now find it more important to live each life, one day at a time. Seize the opportunities that each day brings and to try and not look back with regrets. It is the latter that seems to be my biggest problem. I often over analyze situations and wonder what I should have done differently or if I could have done things differently. However, I am getting to the point of saying to myself that I can't give myself those expectations, I can only give myself the opportunities for today.