Rebirth and Rejuvenation

Today is one of those cold Autumn mornings where all you want to do it curl up with a good book next to the fireplace with a cup of hot apple cider and just escape from the life for a few hours. However I know that is never productive and all it does is escape for a few hours. Problems aren't fixed, life is still there waiting for you.

Friday night I went to the Temple. Baptisms, it was fabulous. I was even more excited being there when Jenn poked me in the side and reminded me that next time I'm there it will be for my own endowment. WOW!

As I was sitting there in the Lord's House thinking about things and praying I was really forced to look at a few things in my life.  Without going into any details, the feelings I have were confirmed that it is ok to have them. I don't know why, because the Lord knows I don't want to feel this way. I don't understand why I do when I just want to let it all go. Perhaps someday I will understand.

I also thought about my life in the big picture and whether or not Alaska is the right place for me. As of right now I'm going to be here for another year. After that I'm not sure. There are times that I don't think or don't feel that this is the right place for me anymore. I think I have learned what it is I needed to learn, the reason I stayed here as my family moved, but I'm not sure there is anything more for me here. I wish there were, I'd really like there to be.

As the leaves have all fallen off the trees I am reminded that Autumn is a time for change. A time to prepare for new life. A time to shed ourselves of the old in order for rebirth and rejuvenation. I am going to take some time to prepare for "Spring". Prepare for new and better things to come. I know that Heavenly Father has something great in store for me. But in my state of mind, I am pretty sure I would miss it right now.